CRAIG Woolum is an underground English comedian who is in Uganda for a few weeks and will perform at a KQ-curated show slated for November 1st at The Arena Sports Bar and Grill in Kisimenti.

Craig’s humor is erudite but not elitist, somewhat William Street Smart while retaining a Kololo polish with the right amount of silliness to make intelligent comedy entirely accessible and innately Ugandan.

You might leave a Woolum show with a new vocabulary word or an insight shining a light on the inner workings of the collective mind.

We asked him a few questions about comedy and got some surprising answers:

KQ: Comedy is intelligent people sounding stupid. Discuss.

Craig Woolum: Really? I think comedy is stupid people sounding intelligent.

KQ: To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. True or false?

Craig Woolum: True, but that’s only if you’re into using cups. I prefer ropes and whips.

KQ: The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. True or False?  

Craig Woolum: And the cats scream Me-ouch.

KQ: Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. True or False?

Craig Woolum: Especially if that itch is in the nether- regions.

KQ: If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work. True or False.

Craig Woolum: Is a frog’s ass watertight?

KQ: There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. Tue or False?

Craig Woolum: Provided this terrestrial ball is a loner instead of being part of a couple.

KQ: Women would rather be right than reasonable. True or False?

Craig Woolum: I would rather live than die, so I won’t answer that.

KQ: He who smiles in a crisis; has finally found someone to blame. True or False.

Craig Woolum: If that crisis is a fart, then absolutely.

KQ: Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. True or False.

Craig Woolum: Way too long.

KQ: Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money?

Craig Woolum: I take what I can’t buy and buy what I can’t take, Kapish?

KQ: I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. True or False?

Craig Woolum: See you at the show on November, my performance will arrive as the weaker sex and overwhelm you with laughter.

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